Of all my siblings, there is only one that I know could beat me cold in any avenue of endeavor. Be it in academics, extra curricular, athletics (yes, I was athletic before), adventures, meeting people, writing and even public speaking, Marion Jill would make me look amateur standing beside a pro. I admire very much for she has grown so much and I do silently celebrate because she followed the path less taken among our kind.
This afternoon, I saw one hair-raising essay/speech she publish in her Facebook message: (italic are mine)
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Marion Jill Amores 24 minutes ago, sent from a phone
This afternoon, I saw one hair-raising essay/speech she publish in her Facebook message: (italic are mine)
* * * * * * *
Marion Jill Amores 24 minutes ago, sent from a phone
Veritas Liberabit Vos The truth shall set you free
I have been searching for the truth and trying to understand the logo of my school. I can never call myself a real Atenean if I have not fully grasped what that Latin phrase meant.
For the Jesuits it must be completely personal and I am in the same page. I believe mostly in individualistic approach the moment I studied psychotherapy back in my university years. I did excel in my academic and exageratingly countless organizations at the university and yes working 8 hours a day to pay my ridiculous yet worthy expensive school... I would have graduated cum laude or higher if I was rich not worrying about where to live the next fuckin day and what to eat for the coming hours.
Imagine a regular business man who would worry about food for next month, but I am speaking about hours here. Back to my truth.
My heart is not close to my cousins and grandparents. That is the bomb right there, heart devastated. My heart and plans belong to the immediate so called 'dysfunctional family' only. For some reasons like uncles and aunties would feast the moment my eyes open in the morning during clan gatherings and then talk about how my mom as a failure and my dad being ugly just for being him.
I never knew about Lola or lolo because they never showed me the meaning of what grandparents should be. All I can remember is that Lola would abuse me emotionally and I would run away whenever I see her. Even if we put up the 'utang na loob' idiocracy still it wont patch up the pain they have injected on that 10 years old girl's heart. Running for help the moment my father was shot 2am in the morning... asking the so called grandparents. they said nothing but "finally he is gone" not even a hug. I was terrorized like a motherfucker! So i continued running for help dragging my little brother barefooted. Everything is still so vivid in my heart and soul.
If you talk about love? That is A big BS. I think how the big clan defined love as filling up their expectations. That is not love, that is slavery.
So this is the bomb. What are yours?
I don't even want to apologize coz there is nothing to apologize about. I am not afraid possessing this in my heart because I know what love is and these bomb will not come back to me because my future children will know what love, encouragement, real help, truth and being a grandmother or a mother is. The saying,"ang gaba dili magsaba" that only applies for the mischief of the idiots who until at their old age forgot to be conscious of what is truth and life. Life is full of stimulants for instance experiences... to wake you up, I believe.
I found the heart of gold from my parents out of their own hands to represent as a parent and I am glad they were not those kind that television or books thought... nothing but the natural beauty of being human raring 6children. The old folks should not take credit because they did nothing but shouting to us how to live, when you can never teach that. Joan was a teenager, If was the auntie and grandma right at that point of her life? I wouldn't criticize nor talk about it. so much for ignorance! To bad we can't even make it as an excuse!
I found gold in the heart of different people from around the world who suffered to be accepted, I found friends... the richest and the poorest, drug addicts who would shot heroin on our road trips and too religious individuals... but they understood and conscious what it is to live.
This is not rebellion! This is a proposal to stop trying too hard and pretend that we know what a community unit is like. In the first place there never was. Let us be aware and try to reach that level of consciousness. it's not about all the physical and materialistic bs. not even religion! don't argue... this is what I think. just saying. So this will be the very first letter written for long generated silence!
I have been searching for the truth and trying to understand the logo of my school. I can never call myself a real Atenean if I have not fully grasped what that Latin phrase meant.
For the Jesuits it must be completely personal and I am in the same page. I believe mostly in individualistic approach the moment I studied psychotherapy back in my university years. I did excel in my academic and exageratingly countless organizations at the university and yes working 8 hours a day to pay my ridiculous yet worthy expensive school... I would have graduated cum laude or higher if I was rich not worrying about where to live the next fuckin day and what to eat for the coming hours.
Imagine a regular business man who would worry about food for next month, but I am speaking about hours here. Back to my truth.
My heart is not close to my cousins and grandparents. That is the bomb right there, heart devastated. My heart and plans belong to the immediate so called 'dysfunctional family' only. For some reasons like uncles and aunties would feast the moment my eyes open in the morning during clan gatherings and then talk about how my mom as a failure and my dad being ugly just for being him.
I never knew about Lola or lolo because they never showed me the meaning of what grandparents should be. All I can remember is that Lola would abuse me emotionally and I would run away whenever I see her. Even if we put up the 'utang na loob' idiocracy still it wont patch up the pain they have injected on that 10 years old girl's heart. Running for help the moment my father was shot 2am in the morning... asking the so called grandparents. they said nothing but "finally he is gone" not even a hug. I was terrorized like a motherfucker! So i continued running for help dragging my little brother barefooted. Everything is still so vivid in my heart and soul.
If you talk about love? That is A big BS. I think how the big clan defined love as filling up their expectations. That is not love, that is slavery.
So this is the bomb. What are yours?
I don't even want to apologize coz there is nothing to apologize about. I am not afraid possessing this in my heart because I know what love is and these bomb will not come back to me because my future children will know what love, encouragement, real help, truth and being a grandmother or a mother is. The saying,"ang gaba dili magsaba" that only applies for the mischief of the idiots who until at their old age forgot to be conscious of what is truth and life. Life is full of stimulants for instance experiences... to wake you up, I believe.
I found the heart of gold from my parents out of their own hands to represent as a parent and I am glad they were not those kind that television or books thought... nothing but the natural beauty of being human raring 6children. The old folks should not take credit because they did nothing but shouting to us how to live, when you can never teach that. Joan was a teenager, If was the auntie and grandma right at that point of her life? I wouldn't criticize nor talk about it. so much for ignorance! To bad we can't even make it as an excuse!
I found gold in the heart of different people from around the world who suffered to be accepted, I found friends... the richest and the poorest, drug addicts who would shot heroin on our road trips and too religious individuals... but they understood and conscious what it is to live.
This is not rebellion! This is a proposal to stop trying too hard and pretend that we know what a community unit is like. In the first place there never was. Let us be aware and try to reach that level of consciousness. it's not about all the physical and materialistic bs. not even religion! don't argue... this is what I think. just saying. So this will be the very first letter written for long generated silence!
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