tabernacle worship

Sometimes, sinners like me need to take a break from his wayward ways and reconcile with his Maker. And this season of Christmas is one of the best times of doing it. I don't need to confess with you that I am a sinner. If you've been reading my blog for sometime, I'm sure you have already condemned me as big fat sinner with nothing inside but self gratification and a womanizing ways. Believe me; I am not proud of that. Just that, I don't write about the soft side of me often because of the obvious reason - it's boring. I'll make an exception today.

Kuya Manny gave me a wake me up at around 10am. I was informed that we will be holding weekly fellowship today instead of Friday, and not only that, we are not having a regular service work but tabernacle worship. Hmm ... That's new, I thought. I've never attended tabernacle worship and I have no idea what it is. This should be good.

The worship service started at around 1:30pm. Our pastor Ferdie prayed over us and then we started praising and singing. It's a good feeling - it's always been - because worship song soothes my heart from anxiety and pain. But honestly, I was quite surprise with the worship format today. Instead of a the regular 45-minute of singing and praising which is followed by Word or sermon, we actually spend all our time with singing, praising and prayer, and more singing, praising and prayers.

The devil must be working hard on me, because for the 1st hour of the worship, my mind was floating somewhere else and my heart was never set on the worship at hand. And on the second hour, I was already daydreaming of sex, fetish, and more girls. On the 3rd hour, I was thinking of my photography, my models, and all my travels. But, you see, our Maker doesn't allow His sons to be snatch that easily. On the 4th hour of worship, singing and prayers, He melted heart and put a lease on my thoughts. My mind was no longer astray and I only realize later that I was praying earnestly and full of heart. Hehehe... I guess, some of my horns had been chopped off and I earned a halo on my head.

Seriously, it's always great to be in communion with your Maker. Don't take my word. Experience it!

going to church

Christians like me, always find it a challenge to attend a church service or worship without the the fear of getting apprehended, being put to jail, and deported. In this part of the world, only one religion is allowed to flourish hence most of the churches and other religious practice goes underground. And.. I am one of them.

Two weeks ago, I befriend a group of nurses at the Military Hospital and when they learned that I do attend Christian worship in Singapore, they invited me to attend in their fellowship. Last week I declined with an alibi that I was furnishing my house, but today they were so persistent that I have no choice but to agree. Two things I was worried about: getting caught and making commitments with the group.

A red CRV car pick me up at King Abdullaziz Hospital and brought me to Malaz district. It was a secluded compound which was deceivingly quiet outside but actually full of noisy children inside. Several brethrens and sisters greeted me with pleasing smiles and then they lead me to their elders. After providing my details, I was invited to join the rest of the members inside the fellowship room. There over a hundred souls in the place, majority are medical workers from the nearby hospital.

The worship service was good. It fills this sinner's heart and heal my pains and frustrations. And though the sermon was good, it fails to nourish the soul of this hard core sinner. Maybe, I was not used to a "kiddy" type of sermon because my previous pastors were tough and disciplinarian. Nevertheless, I was glad that I have attended churh; my last was over a month.

After the service, one elder approached me and asked if I am willing to be baptized. I readily said that "I am already baptized", and had been a Christian for quite some time. Yet they insisted that it is better that I would agree to be baptized again - the way the other members have done - besides it was alright to have double baptism. I politely answered "I agree with you but, my heart is not ready yet. Maybe next time". The pastor was persuasive but I didn't budge. Soon, he got tired of me and walk away.

I didn't stay long. I wanted to leave with a taxi cab but they insisted that for security reasons, that they would give me a ride to my place. I didn't show them where I was staying. Instead, I misguided them to a villa that is 10 blocks away. I have made up my decision not to go back in that place and I would not establish communication to these people again.

Well... a square peg is never meant for round hole. This is my case!

do good to your enemy

Even sinners go to church! Yes, this very sinner decided to shed off some scales of transgression in my hide and did hope to receive blessing. And you may not believe me but I actually had been blessed.

Pastor Larry of EveryNation church delivered a very powerful homily about Goodness. He literally spelled the word and gave stories in each word to illustrate his point. I was attentively listening to his homily when a lightning struck in my heart. It was the message about forgiveness - forgiving your enemy of their trespasses.

Tell me, can you forgive someone who was never remorseful of his offense? Or worse, can you love someone who deliberately put you to test and then enjoys when you fall for the trap? Oh my... it's hard to practice what you believe, isn't it?

But just what real Christians do... I have forgiven Jared, and the people who offended me. No conditions and no return expected.