the evaluation

* * * * * * *

And how did I evaluate him?

I draw a lady with long hair, beautiful face, trim lined shoulders and well shaped arms, very sleek waistline, but with fat-bottom and short legs.

Here's how I deliver the evaluation:

{long hair}

The speech was beautiful as it easily connects to the audience because it talks about the pain and joy of love - something that everyone could empathize.

{beautiful face}

The introduction was powerful because you show us the face of the speech, what it feels when someone laments.

{trim line shoulders, and well shaped arms}

The speech was delivered into two classical approach of Progression, that is talking about past-present-future. You set the story in the past of the two characters and then progresses into the present, and then finally the future where the lamentation occurs. You also added the Contrast-Comparison style wherein you compare the characters and made a contrast on how the character progresses in time.

{very sleek waistline}

As for your STGOs

Though you delivered a beautiful speech, I was waiting for something else. Something that could make me cry. Maybe, the body was just too slim thus you trim too much meat in it.

{fat-bottom and short legs}

Furthermore, you also put too much details on the past and present part of the story/speech. I find the conclusion rather wanting. I really like to hear more on "beautiful moment" and then add more on the finale.